Listen to this very special firefighter's podcast here

Over the past few days and weeks, the fire service news has been inundated with stories of firefighters who have taken their own lives. It’s times like these which force us to pause and realize that the mental health challenges we face every day are truly no different than any physical challenge such as a bum back or sprained knee that keeps us from operating at our best. Why then are we treating these obstacles in such a different way?

The truth is that now, more than ever before, our brothers and sisters in the fire and EMS services, along with our families, have an incredible amount of new resources with which to assist us as we begin to change our attitudes toward the way we address these issues which have always been there, but we were always afraid to confront. The result is that more and more of us are emerging from our behavioral issues as much more healthy, productive, and happy firefighters, moms, and dads.

Now that’s great news.

Firefighter Netcast is suspending our regular programming schedule to bring you re-broadcasts of some of this great news so we can apply it as its needed- starting today. One of our most listened-to shows was originally netcast late last summer and features two special guests who lead a thought-provoking discussion on firefighter behavioral health.

Battalion Chief Jeff Dill of the Palatine Rural Fire Protection District in suburban Chicago is an Illinois licensed counselor of behavioral issues specifically for firefighters. He formed “Counseling Services For Firefighters” to offer just that- firefighters who know where firefighters are coming from and thus are best quipped to relate and help their brothers and sisters. Chief Dill is joined by another suburban Chicago Fire Chief- Pat Kenny, retired chief from the Hinsdale and Western Springs fire departments. Chief Kenny is the Assistant Executive Director of the Illinois Fire Chiefs Association and a representative at the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation Seminar on Depression and Suicide held last summer in Baltimore. Moreover, Chief Kenny is the father of Sean Kenny, who took his own life back in 2004. Listen to Chief Kenny as he offers a firsthand account of what its like to go through the torture of having lost your son to suicide, and how to deal with his loss publicly as a chief officer in his own department.

It’s very powerful stuff, and I hope you’ll join us for the next few days as we bring you all of the segments of this amazing show. It’s our hope that we can learn to approach these issues we face with a new attitude, and realization that we are winning these battles, just as we have overcome countless challenges over the storied history of this, the greatest service on earth.  

B/C Dill is a nationally recognized authority on behavioral health issues within the fire service. He established Counseling Services for Fire Fighters, LLC based on the tragic events that surrounded Hurricane Katrina. When speaking with firefighters who returned after serving the community of New Orleans, Jeff heard the pleas of firefighters who had a difficult time talking with counselors who did not have any firefighting experience. They became frustrated and never did seek the help they needed. In this program, Chief Dill tells us about a new resource coming to the aid of the fire service. Last year, Chief Dill announced the formation of Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance (FBHA). The new 501(c) (3) organization was established to directly educate firefighters/ Emergency Medical Services (EMS) personnel and their families about behavioral health issues such as depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety and addictions, as well as firefighter suicides. FBHA's sole goal is to promote good mental health to the men and women of the fire service/EMS and their families, as well as make a significant difference in reducing the numbers of firefighters who are turning to suicide to ease their pain. FBHA Founder Jeff Dill holds a Master's Degree in Counseling, and is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois.

Joining Chief Dill will be a very special guest- retired Fire Chief Patrick Kenny of the Hinsdale (IL) Fire Department. Chief Kenny is the Assistant Executive Director of the Illinois Fire Chiefs Association and a representative at the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation Seminar on Depression and Suicide.

Tragically, in 2006, Chief Kenny lost his son Sean to suicide. He reflects on the obstacles and challenges he faced as a father as well as a chief officer during his personal nightmare. Since then, Chief Kenny has traveled across the nation and around the world sharing his intensely personal story and promoting advocacy of mental health awareness in the fire service and beyond.

Find out more by visiting any the links above, or browsing these others:

"A Father's Grief"

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Check out Daily Fire Fix for today’s stories!

These Tunes Are ON FIRE!

A neighbor observed his 57-yr old neighbor listening to music in his BMW parked in the driveway of his home.  Shortly thereafter, the car was ablaze, and as was caught on police dash cam, responding officers noticed the man was still inside.  The Police officers are seen reaching into the vehicle and dragging him away from the intense heat and flames, clearly risking their lives .  The man, described as having been incapacitated, and he was transported to the hospital suffering only from minor smoke inhalation.  You gotta love the dash cam!

Injured CFD's Finest Rescue Carful of Criticals Who Pulled Out In Front Of Them

Alcohol is being investigated in the cause of an intersection accident in which Chicago Fire Department engine 62 struck an automobile on Monday night injuring ten including 4 firefighters.  3 children and two adults were critically injured.  According to initial reports, the automobile proceeded into the intersection after stopping, and the engine did not have enough time to avoid the crash.  Witnesses at the scene reported that firefighters injured in the collision immediately began to treat those in the automobile before other firefighters and paramedics arrived.  The 18-yr old driver has since been charged with DUI and other traffic offenses.  Check out the news report from MyFoxChicago.com :

9 Injured When Chicago Fire Truck Crashes Into Car: MyFoxCHICAGO.com

Patriots Send NH Fireighter to the Super Bowl

A New Hampshire firefighter will be unable to respond to calls this weekend because he is a volunteer.  Why?  The New England Patriots chose 10 “Super Persons” from around New England, police, firefighters, teachers, and military members, all a part of their Celebrate Volunteerism Campaign.  One of those winners is Somersworth NH firefighter Tim Wilder.  Tim is headed to the Super Bowl this weekend along with nine other public service workers.  Watch the video from WMUR TV :

Nom Nom Nom…..

Here's some secret recipes for firehouse snacks on this- the most glorious weekend to be on shift at the firehouse- the Super Bowl!  First up, an ultra simple idea that will make you look like you know how to make something- even though your partners will realize you can’t.  Get a brick of Philadelphia cream cheese, put it on a plate, pour some shrimp sauce over it.  Wallah- with a few triscuits, you’ve got a dipping delight! 

Now for a secret recipe from my firehouse that is sooo simple and soooo yummy, you’ll make it even during the off season.  Pop a blob of beef roast into a crock pot at the beginning o your shift and cover it with a big jar of giardinara peppers.  Cook it on low heat til game time, open the lid, shred the meat with a couple of forks and serve it on some fresh French bread with a little mozz or provolone- and you’ve got some of the best Italian beef sandwiches you’ll ever taste. 

If you want to show some true effort with a quick, easy, and healthy Super Bowl food idea check out the video below from TheFirehouseChef.  In this episode, Ryan celebrates one of the most hallowed days at the firehouse- Super Bowl Sunday- with his famous Chipotle Chicken Salad Crostini.  Although it’s great all year long, this finger food combination of chicken, garlic, and chipotle is sure to be a crowd pleaser.  And here’s a secret- The full video recipe enables guys like me to shine in the most valuable position in the firehouse- the shift’s cook. 

Bon Appetit!

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The audio of this report can be found at Daily Fire Fix

A Sunday night hi-rise fire in Chicago that spread smoke and heat beyond the room of origin required over a 2-11 alarm assignment and over 150 firefighters to attack, contain, and eventually extinguish.

An EMS Plan 2 was initiated, calling in 11 ambuli as report after report continued to include new victims in need of emergency medical care.  2 firefighters were also injured, one seriously.

When Chicago’s finest arrived at the 21-story residential apartment building at 3130 N. Lake Shore Dr, they reported fire blowing out of a twelfth-floor window and attempted to put the building’s elevators into ‘fire mode’ without success.

Instead, they were forced to hump their hose and other equipment up the fire floor to make an attack, costing precious time which allowed the fire to grow exponentially.

One citizen was coming home from getting take-out food and had taken the elevator to 12.  Its doors opened, and she was blasted by the smoke and superheated gasses, killing her.

Many others reported hearing no alarms but were awoken by fire sirens.  Some residents, unaffected directly by the fire reportedly never woke up until the next morning, unaware how close they came to taking their final breath.

Here's the report from NBC Chicago:

32-Year-Old Dies in High Rise Fire: MyFoxCHICAGO.com

IF ONLY there was a way to alert all the souls sleeping in a burning building to the deadly danger!

IF ONLY we could invent a way that water could be sprayed on a fire right in the area it started immediately as technology discovers it!

IF ONLY we could figure out a way to have each unit’s door automatically close and keep a fire to its unit of origin with walls that could, in some way, be fire rated!

IF ONLY we were able to program elevators to return to the ground floor during a fire and stay there until fire crews could control them for safe use, rather than deliver unsuspecting victims into a 1,500+ degree hellfire death.

Of course, all of this is already possible. So what happened here?

A city ordinance requiring older high-rises to be retrofitted with a modern, connected alarm and detection system BY THIS MONTH was recently extended until 2015 by the city council, according to a Chicago Building Department spokesperson.

Also, older residential buildings in Chicago ARE NOT required to install sprinkler systems, instead they may opt to be evaluated and other safety upgrades can be put in place.

According to NBC Chicago, an employee of this building’s management company, Planned Property Management, declined to comment at the scene. The company’s president and chief executive officer, Robert Buford, was appointed to the city’s Community Development Commission in July.

So, just how much would it cost building owners to retrofit their money-makers with adequate detectors (beyond the first alert local models) and sprinkler systems?  According to the National Fire Sprinkler Association, the cost to retrofit is about $1.50 to $2.50 per sq. ft.

WHICH COSTS MORE?

Compare the costs of adding sprinklers and a building fire detection system with the cost to clean up, repair, and rehab the large area unnecessarily burned due to late detection and exponentially uncontrolled growth of a fire taking place in a non-sprinklered environment.

Compare the costs of adding sprinklers and a building fire detection system with the loss of rental income while repairs are being made to the large, damaged area of your money-maker.

Compare the costs of adding sprinklers and a building fire detection system to the cost of having to face litigation following the incident as building owners would face lawsuit after lawsuit from a single incident.

And finally, compare the costs of adding sprinklers and a building fire detection system to the unimaginable loss now being endured by the family and friends of one of the tenants of your money-maker, who when returning to her Lake Shore Drive apartment, was crisped as the elevator doors opened into the gates of hell.

Which costs more?  Which decision is the more fiscally responsible? 

Could it be that, at times, the power of the almighty dollar leaves us unable to rationalize between short term costs and long term gains? 

Stay stoked!

-J

The audio of this report can be found at Daily Fire Fix

Daily Fire Fix is a short audio rundown of what's happening in the fire service. 

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The final version of this superb video is finally available.  Brought to us by our friends over at the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation and

featuring my fine friends at the Chicago Fire Department, this is excellent training and should be seen by every firefighter everywhere.

_________________________________________

“What’s most important is that we all go home.  We’re not Superman. We have families that need you to, so…we have other obligations as well. “

“When you’re a young kid, you got that cape on. you wanna go through walls. And if you don’t have the old timers, they’ll kinda  pull you back a little bit, They say hold on kid, understand what your doing, and why you’re doing what you’re doing, and to give yourself a way out.”

 “Have a wife turn to you, and look at you and say, “What the hell happened here? Where the hell was his hood?  Who was in charge? How did you guys let this happen to him? Why him?  What do I say to them?”

“If you think you’ve got some good reason for not wearing this or for not doing things the right way , write it down.  Because I need to read that to your widow.  Because I’m not going to know what to say.  You say it for me.”

I think the worse day I’ve ever had in my life is when I was five years old and my father was killed in the line of duty.  That day stays with me forever.  It’s like it happened yesterday.  I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that.  And I don’t speak just for myself, I speak for my family, I speak for the firefighters that worked with my father that were next to him when he got killed. It never leaves you.  It’s a scar you’ll always have.

“We don’t have any more room for badges on the wall.”

_________________________________________

Any kid can smear on the war paint.  It’s what you do once you’re all “warriored-up” that shows your true worth on our battlefields.

The firefighter I want with me on a line or with a tool by my side is a brother who is not only aggressive and eager to do the job, but also has the knowledge and seasoning to know when to go and when to think twice when it’s appropriate.  I don’t need young, dumb, and full of a battle cry and a death wish. 

If he aint got no brains, send him the f*&% away..

Stay stoked.

-J

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A conversation heard at a Midwestern fire department between Bobby, the Training Officer and his Chief:

Fire Chief:  Go away, Bobby, I’m eating.

T.O. Bobby:  Hey, Your Eminence, I have some good news and I have some good news.

Fire Chief:  You know me, Bobby.  Give me the bad news first.

T.O. Bobby:  There is no bad news, Chief.

Fire Chief:  There’s never no bad news, Bobby.  This is 2010, remember?

T.O. Bobby:  Well, Chief, it’s actually 20-   Doesn’t matter.  Anyway, it’s true.  No bad news, today!

Fire Chief:  OK, then give me the second good news thing first.

T.O. Bobby:  Ahh, still trying to trip me up, eh?  OK, well I found a way to get some kick-ass training for a few of our guys and want to allow YOU the opportunity to offer it to them.

Fire Chief:  That’s what I’m not paying you anything extra for, Bobby.

T.O. Bobby:  What would you say if I found a place, a NEARBY place, which offered a fire training and leadership conference?

Fire Chief:  You mean Indiana?  You know we can’t afford that anymore, Bobby.  Those dinner receipts from Shula’s put us over budget again last year.  T.O. Bobby:  No, not there.  Closer.  And we don’t have to stay in the Super Duper 6 Motel on the freeway on the other side of town because we didn’t lock in our room reservations back in 2006.

Fire Chief:  Hey, it was only 17.5 miles away and the parking downtown was under $30 a day, what are you complaining about?

T.O. Bobby:  Who’s complaining?  When we needed to get to the convention center, I fought to sit in the middle of the front seat of our Command Vehicle with your CAD shoved up my a—

Fire Chief:  Should have called shotgun there and back all included no take-backs.  Did you find a place that we wouldn’t have to drive to from the hotel?

T.O. Bobby:  Yep.  You’ve spilled something there on your shirt, Chief.

Fire Chief:  And we certainly don’t want to wait for such an event to happen one per year.  Fire training has been treated more like an anniversary than a continuous opportunity.  We need it all the time!

T.O. Bobby:  That’s another good news item.  This event is only a few weeks away, and the next a couple of weeks after that.  They’re scheduling a bunch of regional training seminars all next year customized to the area in which they’re presented!

Fire Chief:  Bet the event doesn’t have nationally-known speakers discussing current issues to the fire serice.

T.O. Bobby:  How much?

Fire Chief:  How much what?

T.O. Bobby:  Howmuchyawannabet?

Fire Chief:  Name one that I would know.

T.O. Bobby:  Mitchell.

Fire Chief:  Mitchell who?  Never heard of him.

T.O. Bobby:  John Mitchell?

Fire Chief:  Wasn’t that Nixon’s Attorney General?  He’s teaching fire stuff now?

T.O. Bobby:  No, no, no.  Look, forget Mitchell- that was a joke.  Let me try someone else.  Ever hear of Chief Brunacini?

Fire Chief:  Duh.  OK, who else?

T.O. Bobby:  Let’s see, they’ve got Dennis Rubin, Chris Naum, Rick Gasaway, Paul Hasenmeier, Tiger Something-or-other, and hey, Tim Sendelbach is keynoting!

Fire Chief:  And Nixon’s AG?  Isn’t he dead?

T.O. Bobby:  Yeah, Chief.  He’s dead. 

Fire Chief:  But you know our staff needs hands-on work.  Just last night, two guys from Red Shift busted two axes forcing entry into that house, remember?

T.O. Bobby:  Yes, Chief.  The unlocked glass sliding door kicked their asses.  That’s another plus.  The crack team from Brotherhood Instructors will be heading up several opportunities for hands-on training.  They’ve got classes on R.I.T., forcible entry, engine and truck company ops, and even that new “Man in the Machine” class we’ve been hearing about.

Fire Chief:  That’s hot.

T.O. Bobby:  Yes, Chief.  You made a little joke there.

Fire Chief:  What do you mean?

T.O. Bobby:  H-O-T.  Hands- on- tra… Never mind.

Fire Chief:  Well it all sounds great, Bobby-boy, but you know we can’t afford to send guys to conferences like these.  They’re too expensive, and most of the money just goes to some magazine publisher.  Not my idea of “sharing the knowledge.”

T.O. Bobby:  Chief, I know that.  But all this training comes at an affordable price.  I think you’d be surprised.

Fire Chief:  Surprised?  What have I told you about surprises?  I’m the friggin’ Chief- I HATE surprises.  Now go surprise me with cutting that 10 percent from your training budget.

T.O. Bobby:  That’s just it, Your Heaviness.  If we can sign up our guys by Friday, we can save 10 percent with Early Bird Registration.

Fire Chief:  You know, Bobby, you make it very difficult for me to pass on this opportunity.  To take advantage of the savings, perhaps we should use the Googles to sign up.  Can we sign up on the Googles?

T.O. Bobby:  Yes, Chief.  Just go to http://goforwardtraining.com/gateway/ and you can have all the information of the Gateway Midwest Program in St. Charles outside of St. Louis in October.

Fire Chief:  Bobby.  I have an idea. 

T.O. Bobby:  What’s that, Your Highness?

Fire Chief:  Let’s check out this new customized regional training I’ve been hearing about.  I think it’s near St. Louis or something.

T.O. Bobby:  Ahh, sure, Chief.  Great idea!

Fire Chief:  Make sure those Red Shift yahoos get signed up for the forcible entry program.  I don’t care if they’re free that weekend or not.

T.O. Bobby:  Doesn’t matter, sire.  There’s another regional conference set up in the Philly area just a couple of weeks later, and much more to come.

Fire Chief:  Your diatribe has become monotonous and tedious, as usual.  I grow weary of your presence.  Be gone. 

T.O. Bobby:  Done!

Fire Chief:  Oh, and Bobby?  Don’t forget to keep making me look good.

T.O. Bobby:  Of course, Your Majesty….

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On Wednesday night at 9pm ET, in a very special Firefighter Netcast show, I welcome back Jeff Dill, a Battalion Chief of the Palatine Rural Fire Protection District in Inverness, IL, and retired Fire Chief Patrick Kenny of the Hinsdale (IL) Fire Department.. 

B/C Dill is a nationally recognized authority on behavioral health issues within the fire service.He established Counseling Services for Fire Fighters, LLC based on the tragic events that surrounded Hurricane Katrina. When speaking with firefighters who returned after serving the community of New Orleans, Jeff heard the pleas of firefighters who had a difficult time talking with counselors who did not have any firefighting experience. They became frustrated and never did seek the help they needed.

You can listen to Jeff’s last appearance on the Firefighter Netcast Show here: “Counseling For a Firefighter- By a Firefighter”

In this program, Chief Dill tells us about a new resource coming to the aid of the fire service.  Last month, Chief Dill announced the formation of Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance (FBHA). The new 501(c) (3) organization was established to directly educate firefighters/ Emergency Medical Services (EMS) personnel and their families about behavioral health issues such as depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety and addictions, as well as firefighter suicides.

FBHA's sole goal is to promote good mental health to the men and women of the fire service/EMS and their families, as well as make a significant difference in reducing the numbers of firefighters who are turning to suicide to ease their pain. FBHA Founder Jeff Dill holds a Master's Degree in Counseling, and is a Licensed Profes+sional Counselor in the state of Illinois.

Joining Chief Dill will be a very special guest- retired Fire Chief Patrick Kenny of the Hinsdale (IL) Fire Department.  Chief Kenny is the Assistant Executive Director of the Illinois Fire Chiefs Association and a representative at the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation Seminar on Depression and Suicide.

Tragically, in 2006, Chief Kenny lost his son Sean to suicide.  He reflects on the obstacles and challenges he faced as a father as well as a chief officer during his personal nightmare.  Since then, Chief Kenny has travelled across the nation and around the world sharing his intensely personal story and promoting advocacy of mental health awareness in the fire service and beyond.

Find out more by visiting any the links above, or browsing these others:

 "A Father's Grief"

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Today’s Chicago Tribune includes a report by Trib reporter William Lee who draws our attention to the NIOSH report summary released earlier this month on the August 9^th death of Chicago firefighter/paramedic Christopher Wheatley.

You may recall that Chris fell 53 feet to his death while using a fire escape ladder in ascending to the roof of a four-story West Loop building.  He was wearing full turnout gear and carrying a 63- pound hand pump.

In a nutshell, the report summary says that, although Chris was directed to ascend to the roof via an aerial ladder, he instead opted to use the building's fire escape system. 

Second-guessing Chris’ actions and decisions in this case will not help us to understand why he chose this route to the roof.  We’ll never know, so let’s put that aside for a moment.

Rather, I found myself contemplating this thought:  Given the same circumstances, what would I have done? 

What would you have done?

Is it important to follow each fireground order to the letter, or should we have the latitude to act upon our instincts and experience to get the job done?

Take a look at the NIOSH summary report, it’s not that long and well worth your time.  Then ask yourself just how probable it would be that you may have done the same thing.  Next, discuss it with your crew.  How do they feel about this:

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I’ve been sharing with you a story of humor, yet it is also a story many of each of you have been apart of in your own experiences.  You get on a department, and you grow close to each other as you begin your journey developing your second family.

There are many other stories, as I’m sure you can imagine.  Some can be related, some are better left untold.  But each story are singular threads that we share to create the fabric of life- the truly special one which we all share as Brothers and Sisters in the greatest profession on earth.

I began my career with Buzz, and was fortunate enough to have him as a part of our company when I suffered my injury a few years back.  From beginning to end, Buzz has been and continues to be my Brother.

Buzz has a beautiful wife and three fantastic young men for sons.  Throughout our Brotherhood, Buzz has always had the support of both his families.  Buzz also serves his country in the Global War on Terror, having been in the sands as a Navy medic saving the lives of his other Band of Brothers, our heroes in the Middle East.

When he is gone on his tours, the Brothers back home make sure his family is never in want for anything.  From simple chores to assistance with major issues we all made sure his wife, Maria, and her three sons could count on us to have their backs just like if Buzz was there for them.  We treated his family just like they should be treated, and how we would expect they would treat ours. 

Today, our Brother faces a new crisis, and we are all stepping up for him.  For those of you who are unaware, his eldest son Ken was unexpectedly diagnosed with brain cancer this last March. After 2 brain surgeries 5 weeks of radiation and countless medications, Ken is looking and feeling better and better. He still has a long road to recovery and many months of chemotherapy ahead, but things are looking positive.

This unfortunate medical issue came at a time when Ken was off of a health insurance plan between graduating college, and trying to get a small business up and going. His medical expenses are staggering and overwhelming.  Now, this is something that will dealt with over time, but we all can have an impact now.  Why?

Ken will be unable to work for at least a year.  But in this, the greatest country in the world, Ken can also receive a higher level of healthcare treatment IF he can pony up certain percentages out of pocket.  In other words, if he has more money, he can get better treatment.  God Bless America, right?

Anyway, us Brothers are not going to let a lack of finances hold Buzz’s son to a lesser standard of care without a fight.  We’ve put a party together and want everyone to join us the weekend after the Fourth of July at Arlington Park Racecourse. 

Join us as we bet on the ponies, break some bread, share some pop, enjoy pony rides, a petting zoo, face painting, 50/50 raffle, silent auction, other raffle prizes, and a demonstration by our very own Chicago Fire Professional Soccer Team.

A Day At The Races runs from noon until 6pm (post time at 1pm) on Sunday, July 10^th at Arlington Park Racecourse.  Tickets are $40 for adults, $20 for children 4 years old and older.

Your ticket includes food, non-alcoholic beverages, and entertainment, and all proceeds will be donated to Ken so that he can get the level of treatment he deserves.

Now I realize that many of you are geographically unable to make it to suburban Chicago for this mega-party, but you can still help out in several ways.  First, visit “Ken Krull Fundraiser” on facebook and “like”  the page.  It will help get the word out to the world.  Secondly, we’ve set up a PayPal account to which you can donate by using the email address “kenfundraiser@gmail.com”.  Local 3481 will also be graciously accepting checks mailed to Local 3481, PO Box 1683, Barrington, IL 60010. 

Finally, contact me below for any further information on how you might wish to get involved.

This is one of those situations in life that happens all around us, but you never really grasp the impact until it happens to a loved one.  

Buzz is my buddy.  Buzz is my brother.  He was there when I started, and he was there on my last day.

Join me now as we stand right beside him today, as we know we will for the rest of our lives.

Stay stoked!

-J

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When you last left us, the two hapless FNG’s had amazingly escaped a potential situation in which something got broken.  Remember, if something gets broken, we’d have to endure the Wrath of the Lieutenant- that unimaginably obscene and cataclysmic display of sound and spit-spray.

But just as things looked like they were going our way, the rising railroad crossing gate snapped off the lens of our rotating light sending it high up into the air.  Oh no!  What if it gets broken?  AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!  We watched in amazement as it arced about forty feet into the air then began its descent toward the line of traffic stopped at the light.

But the Gods were smiling down upon us on that memorable day as the lens came down hard- into a landscaping truck filled to the rim with grass clippings.  It bounced once, then twice, then finally settled on top of the pile in the back of the truck.

The light turned green.  Nooooo! 

I bolted (I know smart-asses, not so much bolting these days anymore) for the landscaping truck as it began to start forward with the traffic.  I yelled STOP! and with one leap (well, OK, I stopped, put my cigarette out and coughed, cinched up my pants, then heaved myself up attempting to get up into the back of the truck).  My third attempt was successful. 

I grabbed the lens and looked it over in wide-eyed amazement.  Just a scratch!  Well, we could get that out.  In the words of Spicoli, “my Dad’s got an awesome set of tools.”

Down I sprang (well, climbed laboriously- HEY enough from you guys already, huh?) and skipped my way back to the ambulance holding the lens with both hands above my head like the Stanley Cup (Go Bruins!) as Buzz waited dutifully with the patient.

“It’s not broken, it’s not broken!” I screamed, ecstatically incredulous.  I gently placed the lens on the front passenger seat like a majestic crown on a velvet pillow, buckled it in securely, then retook my position as driver/operator of the mobile intensive care unit.  As we made our way to the hospital, tears again, this time tears of joy and re-relief. 

Me and Buzz on our first call together.  We had successfully avoided the Wrath of the Lieutenant.  We would not be so successful in the future.  Things would get broken, Wraths be unleashed.  But today….sweet victory.

To be continued…

This story has been told and retold countless times

and may or may not be a wildly exaggerated account of utter fiction. 

As we used to say on black shift,

never let the facts get in the way of a good story. 

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When you last left, a Metra Commuter train was barreling down on our ambulance trapped in a railroad crossing as we were transporting a patient to our local hospital.  2 FNG’s, me and Buzz, and a patient were on the way to the hospital when the crossing gates came down on top of the box near a multi-hundred dollar revolving light, seemingly calling attention from anyone nearby to waste just a moment of their time to claim witness to what was about to happen.

This is a good point to address the obvious question you all may have here.  Why not just throw it into reverse and break what needs to be broken- just to be safe? 

B e c a u s e  i f  s o m e t h i n g  e v e r  g e t s  b r o k e n, we endure the Wrath of the Lieutenant. 

OK.  I know you readers are all rolling your eyes- but hear me out- this was not something to ever be a part of. 

The Wrath of the Lieutenant was cataclysmic.  Each of the five human senses were so violated by the event that the End of Times would be pleasurable by comparison.  One need only hear about one of these things to never want to be nearby when it erupts.

The message was clear: Don’t break anything.  It’s only that simple.  Don’t friggin’ break a thing.

Even though it looked like there might be just enough space for the train to clear the front bumper, I thought about the emergency lighting in the front bumper as well.  If those got broken, well, the Wrath of the Lieutenant would be known! 

Something was going to get broken, it was just a question of how spectacular that breakage would be.

So this FNG did the bravest, most heroic deed ever seen in my department’s history.  Forget about saving babies from a raging inferno, this took balls. 

I put her in reverse and slowly backed up. 

The first sound was that of the wooden railroad gate contacting the lens of the revolving light on top of the ambulance box.  Clink.  Tears streaming down my face in anticipation of what would happen if anything broke, I continued inching backward. 

Buzz peeked his head through the cab window and asked what was the matter.  My tear-stained head spun around and I screamed “BEWARE THE WRATH OF THE LIEUTENANT”!

Buzz froze.  He knew. 

His eyes welled up as he quickly did the Sign of the Cross on himself. 

“Don’t break anything!  Just let the train smash us!” Buzz screamed. 

The ambulance continued inching slowly backward.

Others nearby probably only heard the blaring of the approaching train’s horn, but the two terrified FNG’s could only wait for the sound of “something breaking”.  The wooden gate creaked and groaned as it bent farther and farther back, the revolving light holding it’s ground.

After what seemed like hours, the train finally roared by.  Turns out we had plenty of room after all.  Buzz and I shared a look of intense relief and began to dry our pitifully snot-slobbered faces.  Nothing got broken!  We had avoided the Wrath of the Lieutenant!

As we high-fived and danced a merry jig of exultation, the railroad gate, which had been bowed back about 30 degrees began to ascend upward to allow traffic through.  In doing so, it popped the clear dome light lens catapulting it up and forward high in the air, the revolving light still spinning away.

The lens flew like a rocket, arcing high up into the air.  Oh no!  What if it gets broken?  AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!  We watched in amazement as it arced about forty feet into the air then began its descent toward the line of traffic stopped at the light. 

Things were not looking good again for the two FNG’s.

To be continued……

This story has been told and retold countless times

and may or may not be a wildly exaggerated account of utter fiction. 

As we used to say on black shift,

never let the facts get in the way of a good story. 

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