Listen to this very special firefighter's podcast here

Over the past few days and weeks, the fire service news has been inundated with stories of firefighters who have taken their own lives. It’s times like these which force us to pause and realize that the mental health challenges we face every day are truly no different than any physical challenge such as a bum back or sprained knee that keeps us from operating at our best. Why then are we treating these obstacles in such a different way?

The truth is that now, more than ever before, our brothers and sisters in the fire and EMS services, along with our families, have an incredible amount of new resources with which to assist us as we begin to change our attitudes toward the way we address these issues which have always been there, but we were always afraid to confront. The result is that more and more of us are emerging from our behavioral issues as much more healthy, productive, and happy firefighters, moms, and dads.

Now that’s great news.

Firefighter Netcast is suspending our regular programming schedule to bring you re-broadcasts of some of this great news so we can apply it as its needed- starting today. One of our most listened-to shows was originally netcast late last summer and features two special guests who lead a thought-provoking discussion on firefighter behavioral health.

Battalion Chief Jeff Dill of the Palatine Rural Fire Protection District in suburban Chicago is an Illinois licensed counselor of behavioral issues specifically for firefighters. He formed “Counseling Services For Firefighters” to offer just that- firefighters who know where firefighters are coming from and thus are best quipped to relate and help their brothers and sisters. Chief Dill is joined by another suburban Chicago Fire Chief- Pat Kenny, retired chief from the Hinsdale and Western Springs fire departments. Chief Kenny is the Assistant Executive Director of the Illinois Fire Chiefs Association and a representative at the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation Seminar on Depression and Suicide held last summer in Baltimore. Moreover, Chief Kenny is the father of Sean Kenny, who took his own life back in 2004. Listen to Chief Kenny as he offers a firsthand account of what its like to go through the torture of having lost your son to suicide, and how to deal with his loss publicly as a chief officer in his own department.

It’s very powerful stuff, and I hope you’ll join us for the next few days as we bring you all of the segments of this amazing show. It’s our hope that we can learn to approach these issues we face with a new attitude, and realization that we are winning these battles, just as we have overcome countless challenges over the storied history of this, the greatest service on earth.  

B/C Dill is a nationally recognized authority on behavioral health issues within the fire service. He established Counseling Services for Fire Fighters, LLC based on the tragic events that surrounded Hurricane Katrina. When speaking with firefighters who returned after serving the community of New Orleans, Jeff heard the pleas of firefighters who had a difficult time talking with counselors who did not have any firefighting experience. They became frustrated and never did seek the help they needed. In this program, Chief Dill tells us about a new resource coming to the aid of the fire service. Last year, Chief Dill announced the formation of Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance (FBHA). The new 501(c) (3) organization was established to directly educate firefighters/ Emergency Medical Services (EMS) personnel and their families about behavioral health issues such as depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety and addictions, as well as firefighter suicides. FBHA's sole goal is to promote good mental health to the men and women of the fire service/EMS and their families, as well as make a significant difference in reducing the numbers of firefighters who are turning to suicide to ease their pain. FBHA Founder Jeff Dill holds a Master's Degree in Counseling, and is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois.

Joining Chief Dill will be a very special guest- retired Fire Chief Patrick Kenny of the Hinsdale (IL) Fire Department. Chief Kenny is the Assistant Executive Director of the Illinois Fire Chiefs Association and a representative at the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation Seminar on Depression and Suicide.

Tragically, in 2006, Chief Kenny lost his son Sean to suicide. He reflects on the obstacles and challenges he faced as a father as well as a chief officer during his personal nightmare. Since then, Chief Kenny has traveled across the nation and around the world sharing his intensely personal story and promoting advocacy of mental health awareness in the fire service and beyond.

Find out more by visiting any the links above, or browsing these others:

"A Father's Grief"

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The final version of this superb video is finally available.  Brought to us by our friends over at the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation and

featuring my fine friends at the Chicago Fire Department, this is excellent training and should be seen by every firefighter everywhere.

_________________________________________

“What’s most important is that we all go home.  We’re not Superman. We have families that need you to, so…we have other obligations as well. “

“When you’re a young kid, you got that cape on. you wanna go through walls. And if you don’t have the old timers, they’ll kinda  pull you back a little bit, They say hold on kid, understand what your doing, and why you’re doing what you’re doing, and to give yourself a way out.”

 “Have a wife turn to you, and look at you and say, “What the hell happened here? Where the hell was his hood?  Who was in charge? How did you guys let this happen to him? Why him?  What do I say to them?”

“If you think you’ve got some good reason for not wearing this or for not doing things the right way , write it down.  Because I need to read that to your widow.  Because I’m not going to know what to say.  You say it for me.”

I think the worse day I’ve ever had in my life is when I was five years old and my father was killed in the line of duty.  That day stays with me forever.  It’s like it happened yesterday.  I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that.  And I don’t speak just for myself, I speak for my family, I speak for the firefighters that worked with my father that were next to him when he got killed. It never leaves you.  It’s a scar you’ll always have.

“We don’t have any more room for badges on the wall.”

_________________________________________

Any kid can smear on the war paint.  It’s what you do once you’re all “warriored-up” that shows your true worth on our battlefields.

The firefighter I want with me on a line or with a tool by my side is a brother who is not only aggressive and eager to do the job, but also has the knowledge and seasoning to know when to go and when to think twice when it’s appropriate.  I don’t need young, dumb, and full of a battle cry and a death wish. 

If he aint got no brains, send him the f*&% away..

Stay stoked.

-J

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“One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six who jumped in the rear, we need massive EMS here.”

Most of you reading this have already probably heard the sad news on the passing of FDNY Brother Joey DiBernardo, one of six forced to jump 4 stories rather than be burnt alive back in January of 2005 in what has come to be known as “Black Sunday.” 

Of the six, Lieutenant John G. Bellew and Lieutenant Curtis Meyran succumbed to their injuries that day.  Firefighters Jeffrey Cool, Eugene Stolowski, and Brendan Cawley survived their jumps along with Lieutenant DiBernardo with massive physical injuries as well as haunting emotional trauma which remains to this day.

This morning an email from www.FirefighterCloseCalls.com (Home of the Secret List) is making its way to thousands of Brothers and Sisters, imploring all of us to take a few short moments to fully understand what has happened and who we have just lost.  Along with Chief Goldfeder and the others at Firefighter Close Calls, I want to make sure everyone gets this important message as we prepare to lay our Brother to rest tomorrow. 

Please ensure these videos are seen by all your companies, either at roll call, or shortly thereafter.  If you are on a volunteer department, please forward this information to all your contacts immediately.

For further enlightenment, utilize the NIOSH report and encourage discussion among your crews.  As usual, Command Safety lays out all the information you need to make the training useable, understandable, and accessible.

Here are the links:

Message from Firefighter Close Calls

Video about Brother Joey DiBernardo

Video about the Black Sunday Fire.

NIOSH Report

Command Safety’s Comprehensive Look at the Incident

God Bless you, Joey.  May he keep you in His tender care.

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343.

We have this number stuck in our heads.  Obviously, it represents the number of firefighters lost at the World Trade Center on 9/11 when our country- indeed, our Brothers- were attacked by terrorists from the Middle East.

We read 343 names. 

We ring a bell 343 times. 

We get a 343 sticker for our helmet or a bumper sticker or window decal that simply says 343. 

T-shirts, tattoos, you name it- we solemnly pay tribute to the 343.

We’re Brothers.  That’s what we do.

343.

This week, I heard alot of "343", and "Never Forget."  Yet, not once on this, the tenth anniversary of 9/11, did I hear a “Brother” give any attention to the number of FDNY Brothers and Sisters who have continued to die from the 9/11 attack. 

What?  There were more?

You know, the Brothers and Sisters who worked up to 16-hour shifts for weeks on “The Pile” breathing in a toxic cloud of plastic, jet fuel, and human body parts.

Any guesses at that number?  My bet is that you have no clue.

Nope, it’s not 343. 

Actually, it just eclipsed 343.  That’s right- we’ve lost another 343+.  And my bet is we’ll be losing another 343 soon as well.

We won’t be seeing their names carved on a granite wall, will we?

343.  It’s a snapshot in time, but far from the reality of the number of firefighters lost from the attack at the WTC on 9/11.

Stay tuned, and I’ll continue this story and help you “Brothers” to understand why we should remember that 343 is just a number.  And I'll tell you how to be a true Brother beyond just latching onto the hype of the number 343.

Stay stoked.

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Click here to listen to my ranr as I gave it on this week's Firefighter Netcast program

It’s been 10 years since the horror.  How are you remembering?

We see the networks ramp up their coverage of the tragedy with all the videos seen and various fire entities do their best to commemorate the lives of the three thousand taken that day- including 343 of our nation’s finest.

We’re remembering by hearing stories of individual lives lost and those left behind, by attending local tributes, by ringing bells, by running stairs, by wearing bracelets, by carrying photos around our necks and in our helmets, by wearing t-shirts admonishing us to “never forget,” by getting misty at the piper’s playing of Amazing Grace and the mournful notes of a bugler signaling Taps.

It’s the national response to an American tragedy with millions of Americans remembering/commemorating/memorializing- each in their own way.  It’s the way we do things.  We pause, we remember, and we move on.

Is it enough, Brother?  Hell no, it’s not.

Why are our Brothers and Sisters STILL waging a war to obtain benefits from the long-term effects of their heroic actions working “The Pile” in the hours, days, and weeks that followed?

The same government that told them- within days- that The Pile’s environment was “safe” to work in is STILL denying that the cancer ravaging their bodies is connected in any way.  Our Brothers and Sisters are being told that enough time hasn’t past to make that determination. 

How does this make you feel? 

The only reason I ask is that I’m not hearing much from any of you out there whenever these stories of how we are being treated bubble up to the surface.. 

This treatment of the “other heroes” of the days and weeks that followed the deaths of the 343 is ludicrous and they deserve much better than this.

This is pure crap and it pisses me off.  Where is your outrage?

Howabaout the unconscionable lack of progress made in one of the findings of the 9/11 commission wherein police and firefighters are STILL unable to communicate with each other when (not if) the next attack occurs?  Ten years later!

Again, How does this make you feel?  Again, I ask is that because I’m still hearing crickets as these stories get reported.

This is pure crap and it pisses me off.  Where is your outrage?

As we pause to remember the brave folks who gave their lives at The World Trade Center, The Pentagon, and in Shanksville, please- don’t forget so many of the others who are still suffering today from working the pile, and those who will suffer in the future because we have –to date- STILL FAILED to do everything we can to help us meet the challenges from the next attack.

So, go ahead and buy the t-shirt.  Wear the bracelet.  Climb the stairs with or without gear.  Put the stickers on your truck bumper and make your helmets look cool.

But I dare you to be outraged and to do more.  Do what the fallen would want you to do.  Make yourself heard whenever you feel that they would want you to do so.

Don’t forget – NEVER FORGET- that the attacks on America and indeed- America’s fire service continue to this very day. 

Never forget that.

Stay stoked, my friends.

-J

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FirefighterNation.com, FireEMSBlogs.com and FireRescue Magazine are pleased to announce the Firefighter Meetup in Baltimore to benefit the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation. The event takes place Thursday night, July 21st at Uno's in Harborplace, 201 East Pratt Street from 8 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.

Join many of the web's top fire service bloggers, firefighters from across the region and around the country, at this special event

The first 50 firefighters to stop by the FireRescue Magazine/FirefighterNation.com (Booth 724), Fire Geezer (with Statter 911, Firefighter Netcast at Booth #743) or National Fallen Firefighters Foundation (Booth 252) booths at Firehouse Expo on Thursday will also receive a complimentary drink ticket for the event.

Uno's will donate 20% of the proceeds (excluding tax and tip) from Thursday night's event to the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation (http://www.firehero.org)

The Meetup is sponsored by Wall Shields (http://www.wallshieldsco.com) and Firefighter Monopoly (http://www.firefighterplay.com) and presented by FirefighterNation.com and FireRescue Magazine (http://www.firefighternation.com) and the blogs of FireEMSBlogs.com (www.fireemsblogs.com)

As we approach the tenth anniversary of 9/11, here is an excellent opportunity to share a laugh, a drink, and all for a great cause, the National Fallen Firefighters Foundation.

We look forward to seeing you there!

FOUR DAYS OF GIVING TO THE NFFF

In addition donations from the Meetup going to the NFFF, pick up a special Uno's Dough Rai$er ticket at the booths listed above ANY time during Firehouse Expo and then grab a bite to eat or more at Uno's ANYTIME between Thursday and Sunday of Firehouse Expo and 20% of your bill (excluding tax and tip) will ALSO be donated to the NFFF! So if you don't want to wait to get started, you can also head to Uno's for dinner Thursday night prior to the event — or anytime through Sunday  — to have a great meal and donate to a worthy cause.

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I’ve been sharing with you a story of humor, yet it is also a story many of each of you have been apart of in your own experiences.  You get on a department, and you grow close to each other as you begin your journey developing your second family.

There are many other stories, as I’m sure you can imagine.  Some can be related, some are better left untold.  But each story are singular threads that we share to create the fabric of life- the truly special one which we all share as Brothers and Sisters in the greatest profession on earth.

I began my career with Buzz, and was fortunate enough to have him as a part of our company when I suffered my injury a few years back.  From beginning to end, Buzz has been and continues to be my Brother.

Buzz has a beautiful wife and three fantastic young men for sons.  Throughout our Brotherhood, Buzz has always had the support of both his families.  Buzz also serves his country in the Global War on Terror, having been in the sands as a Navy medic saving the lives of his other Band of Brothers, our heroes in the Middle East.

When he is gone on his tours, the Brothers back home make sure his family is never in want for anything.  From simple chores to assistance with major issues we all made sure his wife, Maria, and her three sons could count on us to have their backs just like if Buzz was there for them.  We treated his family just like they should be treated, and how we would expect they would treat ours. 

Today, our Brother faces a new crisis, and we are all stepping up for him.  For those of you who are unaware, his eldest son Ken was unexpectedly diagnosed with brain cancer this last March. After 2 brain surgeries 5 weeks of radiation and countless medications, Ken is looking and feeling better and better. He still has a long road to recovery and many months of chemotherapy ahead, but things are looking positive.

This unfortunate medical issue came at a time when Ken was off of a health insurance plan between graduating college, and trying to get a small business up and going. His medical expenses are staggering and overwhelming.  Now, this is something that will dealt with over time, but we all can have an impact now.  Why?

Ken will be unable to work for at least a year.  But in this, the greatest country in the world, Ken can also receive a higher level of healthcare treatment IF he can pony up certain percentages out of pocket.  In other words, if he has more money, he can get better treatment.  God Bless America, right?

Anyway, us Brothers are not going to let a lack of finances hold Buzz’s son to a lesser standard of care without a fight.  We’ve put a party together and want everyone to join us the weekend after the Fourth of July at Arlington Park Racecourse. 

Join us as we bet on the ponies, break some bread, share some pop, enjoy pony rides, a petting zoo, face painting, 50/50 raffle, silent auction, other raffle prizes, and a demonstration by our very own Chicago Fire Professional Soccer Team.

A Day At The Races runs from noon until 6pm (post time at 1pm) on Sunday, July 10^th at Arlington Park Racecourse.  Tickets are $40 for adults, $20 for children 4 years old and older.

Your ticket includes food, non-alcoholic beverages, and entertainment, and all proceeds will be donated to Ken so that he can get the level of treatment he deserves.

Now I realize that many of you are geographically unable to make it to suburban Chicago for this mega-party, but you can still help out in several ways.  First, visit “Ken Krull Fundraiser” on facebook and “like”  the page.  It will help get the word out to the world.  Secondly, we’ve set up a PayPal account to which you can donate by using the email address “kenfundraiser@gmail.com”.  Local 3481 will also be graciously accepting checks mailed to Local 3481, PO Box 1683, Barrington, IL 60010. 

Finally, contact me below for any further information on how you might wish to get involved.

This is one of those situations in life that happens all around us, but you never really grasp the impact until it happens to a loved one.  

Buzz is my buddy.  Buzz is my brother.  He was there when I started, and he was there on my last day.

Join me now as we stand right beside him today, as we know we will for the rest of our lives.

Stay stoked!

-J

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When you last left us, the two hapless FNG’s had amazingly escaped a potential situation in which something got broken.  Remember, if something gets broken, we’d have to endure the Wrath of the Lieutenant- that unimaginably obscene and cataclysmic display of sound and spit-spray.

But just as things looked like they were going our way, the rising railroad crossing gate snapped off the lens of our rotating light sending it high up into the air.  Oh no!  What if it gets broken?  AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!  We watched in amazement as it arced about forty feet into the air then began its descent toward the line of traffic stopped at the light.

But the Gods were smiling down upon us on that memorable day as the lens came down hard- into a landscaping truck filled to the rim with grass clippings.  It bounced once, then twice, then finally settled on top of the pile in the back of the truck.

The light turned green.  Nooooo! 

I bolted (I know smart-asses, not so much bolting these days anymore) for the landscaping truck as it began to start forward with the traffic.  I yelled STOP! and with one leap (well, OK, I stopped, put my cigarette out and coughed, cinched up my pants, then heaved myself up attempting to get up into the back of the truck).  My third attempt was successful. 

I grabbed the lens and looked it over in wide-eyed amazement.  Just a scratch!  Well, we could get that out.  In the words of Spicoli, “my Dad’s got an awesome set of tools.”

Down I sprang (well, climbed laboriously- HEY enough from you guys already, huh?) and skipped my way back to the ambulance holding the lens with both hands above my head like the Stanley Cup (Go Bruins!) as Buzz waited dutifully with the patient.

“It’s not broken, it’s not broken!” I screamed, ecstatically incredulous.  I gently placed the lens on the front passenger seat like a majestic crown on a velvet pillow, buckled it in securely, then retook my position as driver/operator of the mobile intensive care unit.  As we made our way to the hospital, tears again, this time tears of joy and re-relief. 

Me and Buzz on our first call together.  We had successfully avoided the Wrath of the Lieutenant.  We would not be so successful in the future.  Things would get broken, Wraths be unleashed.  But today….sweet victory.

To be continued…

This story has been told and retold countless times

and may or may not be a wildly exaggerated account of utter fiction. 

As we used to say on black shift,

never let the facts get in the way of a good story. 

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When you last left, a Metra Commuter train was barreling down on our ambulance trapped in a railroad crossing as we were transporting a patient to our local hospital.  2 FNG’s, me and Buzz, and a patient were on the way to the hospital when the crossing gates came down on top of the box near a multi-hundred dollar revolving light, seemingly calling attention from anyone nearby to waste just a moment of their time to claim witness to what was about to happen.

This is a good point to address the obvious question you all may have here.  Why not just throw it into reverse and break what needs to be broken- just to be safe? 

B e c a u s e  i f  s o m e t h i n g  e v e r  g e t s  b r o k e n, we endure the Wrath of the Lieutenant. 

OK.  I know you readers are all rolling your eyes- but hear me out- this was not something to ever be a part of. 

The Wrath of the Lieutenant was cataclysmic.  Each of the five human senses were so violated by the event that the End of Times would be pleasurable by comparison.  One need only hear about one of these things to never want to be nearby when it erupts.

The message was clear: Don’t break anything.  It’s only that simple.  Don’t friggin’ break a thing.

Even though it looked like there might be just enough space for the train to clear the front bumper, I thought about the emergency lighting in the front bumper as well.  If those got broken, well, the Wrath of the Lieutenant would be known! 

Something was going to get broken, it was just a question of how spectacular that breakage would be.

So this FNG did the bravest, most heroic deed ever seen in my department’s history.  Forget about saving babies from a raging inferno, this took balls. 

I put her in reverse and slowly backed up. 

The first sound was that of the wooden railroad gate contacting the lens of the revolving light on top of the ambulance box.  Clink.  Tears streaming down my face in anticipation of what would happen if anything broke, I continued inching backward. 

Buzz peeked his head through the cab window and asked what was the matter.  My tear-stained head spun around and I screamed “BEWARE THE WRATH OF THE LIEUTENANT”!

Buzz froze.  He knew. 

His eyes welled up as he quickly did the Sign of the Cross on himself. 

“Don’t break anything!  Just let the train smash us!” Buzz screamed. 

The ambulance continued inching slowly backward.

Others nearby probably only heard the blaring of the approaching train’s horn, but the two terrified FNG’s could only wait for the sound of “something breaking”.  The wooden gate creaked and groaned as it bent farther and farther back, the revolving light holding it’s ground.

After what seemed like hours, the train finally roared by.  Turns out we had plenty of room after all.  Buzz and I shared a look of intense relief and began to dry our pitifully snot-slobbered faces.  Nothing got broken!  We had avoided the Wrath of the Lieutenant!

As we high-fived and danced a merry jig of exultation, the railroad gate, which had been bowed back about 30 degrees began to ascend upward to allow traffic through.  In doing so, it popped the clear dome light lens catapulting it up and forward high in the air, the revolving light still spinning away.

The lens flew like a rocket, arcing high up into the air.  Oh no!  What if it gets broken?  AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!  We watched in amazement as it arced about forty feet into the air then began its descent toward the line of traffic stopped at the light. 

Things were not looking good again for the two FNG’s.

To be continued……

This story has been told and retold countless times

and may or may not be a wildly exaggerated account of utter fiction. 

As we used to say on black shift,

never let the facts get in the way of a good story. 

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The Brotherhood of Two FNG’s

Part One- Buzz

Hello Friends,
 
I would like to take a few days to relate a story of the Brotherhood of two FNG’s.  For those of you who don’t know, N stands for “new” and G stands for “guy”.  After the story has been told, I would like to tell you why this all came to mind this month and tie it all together with a dose of true humanity.  Enjoy!

When I made the move to my most recent department, I was among a group which almost doubled the size of the career staff there.  The department was making the difficult transition from volunteer to combination and this was a significant growth spurt for the paid firefighters.

Among my group was a firefighter named Brian Krull.  Brian would be the first of the group to earn a nickname that has stood for more than 14 years now.  Let me explain.

Around the newly-expanded day room table sat 6-7 FNG’s.  The Lieutenant came bounding in (he bounds, what can I say?) and smugly asked (he smugly asks, what can I say?) which of the new guys had been responsible for sending the personnel manager a stunning bouquet of flowers following his acceptance into the department. 

Brian raised his hand.  

Oops.  Day one and he was singled out already.

It was 1997.  Back in the 1900’s, FTD had a commercial out about some guy dressed as a bumblebee who delivered flowers, remember? 

Buzz.

The nickname Buzz stuck like honey to a hive. 

So, after a couple weeks of FNG training, we were divvied up into the three shifts.  I had been warned that I should slit my wrists if I was assigned to black shift.

Naturally, I was assigned to black shift.

So was Buzz, and thus began what turned out to be an extraordinary band of brothers who were constantly on every chief officer’s radar screen.  We were a proud group, eager to put up our skills against the other shifts when challenged, and always coming out on top.  That made black shift a target, from blue shirts and multi-bugles alike.

Buzz and I ran our first call together.  2 medics on an EMS run, allowed to solo for the first time without adult supervision despite our Lieutenant’s better judgment.  On the way to the hospital, me driving-Buzz in back, we approached a railroad crossing.  Cars were stopped for a light so I had to enter the opposite lane to slowly sneak around the stopped line of traffic.  Just as I committed the ambo into the RR crossing the bells started ringing and gates started lowering. 

Maybe I shoulda just gunned it, but as I said we were FNG’s on our first call.  Fearing the worst, I stopped which allowed the gates to come down on the top of the box. 

Thunk!

I stuck my head out the window and saw the RR gate had come down behind the rotator light on the front corner of the ambulance.  If I backed up I would surely snap the multi-hundred dollar accessory and face the Wrath of the Lieutenant (he wraths, what can I say?)  If I didn’t back up- well the train probably would clear the front of the ambulance no problem.  Right?

I had a decision to make.  Back up and break the multi-hundred dollar light?  Take a chance on the train missing us?  Howabout just getting out and running away screaming like a girl?  You know- right to O’Hare for starters- then who knows where? 

To be continued…..

This story has been told and retold countless times

and may or may not a wildly exaggerated account of utter fiction. 

As we used to say on black shift,

never let the facts get in the way of a good story. 

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