“I’m looking forward to spending more time with my family,” Jeremy Black told a hastily created press conference early this afternoon. “I’m proud of my involvement in the genesis of FireDaily, and will always look back with fond memories of my short time here”,” he told the completely empty room.
After less than one hundred days, Black was relieved of his post as Executive Editor and Chief Blogmeister at FireDaily.com, an upstart blogging venture experiencing rapid growth. It became clear last Friday that Black would not be a part of the future of FireDaily. Black left a comment on FireEMSblog.com partner Mick Mayer’s Firefighter Nation Blog that was the final straw.
“Even if he didn’t mean it the way it came across, his comment was unnecessary and just plain out of line,” crowed John Mitchell. “Chief Mayers is a highly respected firefighter and champion blogger. He was put into an awkward situation, and that’s not what FireDaily.com is all about. We finally realized that his services were no longer needed here.”
Formerly the Vice President of Media Relations and Senior Assistant Blogmeister, Mitchell has tapped himself to replace Black effective immediately.
“We tried to be nice, but he just wouldn’t take the hint.” Mitchell had to resort to more serious tactics to get the point across.
“First, we took his red stapler. That usually works, ya know. Next, we moved his office into the basement. That’s where the girls like watching Pokemon,” Mitchell explained. “We were convinced that would do the trick, but his psychiatrist just upped his meds and, to his credit, he hung firm”.
Black smiled wryly at the visual image from Mitchell’s metaphor.
With the holidays approaching, a rash but effective decision was made to avoid a confrontation during a time when interactions with extended families already created a hostile environment. The entire FireDaily staff (of one) met this weekend behind closed doors and came up with a plan.
“How many times did we have to tell him to ‘step away from the comma’? He had become a comma-holic, dropping them everywhere and anywhere,” Mitchell related, rolling his beautiful blue eyes in disgust as he sprayed the last of a Costco 3-pack of Fabreze into the area around the executive desk.
“We tried getting him to read Frank McCourt’s Eats, Shoots & Leaves countless times, but we knew that would could never tear him away from Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue, especially how painfully slowly he reads, asking for help with the big words all the time.”
So, realizing the comma remained Black’s Achilles Heel, Mitchell sabotaged his laptop this morning by reassigning a happy-face emoticon to the dirty and stained comma key on the keyboard.
“I wish we did that a long time ago, his posts would have made more sense,” Mitchell ripped.
That did the trick.
Comma-less, Black left immediately after the press conference- sans stapler. He will continue to receive a small percentage of the Adsense profits from the site if they eventually are earned.
As he continued de-lousing the office, Mitchell whined that he hadn’t heard the last from Black.
“We know he’ll land on his feet, he just needs to learn to keep them out of his mouth.”
Also on Fire Daily…
- Keep Calm and Keep Your Fingers Crossed – September 18, 2013
- We Should Be Hearing All About Mike Behette Today, Rather Than Knowing So Much About the Navy Yard Shooter. – September 17, 2013
- A St. Patrick’s Day Salute to CFD Chief Eddie Enright – March 15, 2013
- WARNING: This video is graphic and depicts a man being rescued from his burning home. – January 30, 2013